she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
