your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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