My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
time to smoke my breakfast
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Randomize
