I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
