She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize