their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
