my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His hands were made for my vagina.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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