Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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