Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
