I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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