why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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