so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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