i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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