P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
