Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
