Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
