You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
