The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So. Much. Porn.
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