first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize