I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
