I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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