I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
