What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
