Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
