i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
