Duck Duck Cougar?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
