I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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