she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
