Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
