are you still at the devil's house?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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