so that wasnt chicken after all
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Someone came in the potted fern
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
