roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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