Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
