i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
