Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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