therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
