the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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