you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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