So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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