the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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