this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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