There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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