I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
