well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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