I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
