you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
