we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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