In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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