My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
