I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will pee on everything he values.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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