Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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