I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
