yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
