addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
