is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
