I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
