Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
