Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
