So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize