And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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