He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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