Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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