she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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