you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
what is it with giant penises always finding me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize