i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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