He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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