pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
