i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
