All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize