You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
