Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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