Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
