he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
third nipple confirmed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
