i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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