What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
