um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
