Betty ford says i'm here all night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
