I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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