i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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