I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
