summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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