This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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