Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
