Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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